Most people tend to try to acquire more self-worth. How many times have you seen a popular TV show or movie where someone is trying to impress someone by behaving in a self-centered way? I’m not saying that people don’t behave self-centered, just that they are usually unaware of their behavior—those who have this insatiable desire to be liked and need validation that they matter.
So the question becomes, how can we avoid being so self-centered, how can we build up more self-worth and confidence? To start, I recommend looking inward, into your self and learning to recognize when you’ve fallen into a habit of self-centrism.
What Exactly Is Self-Centeredness?
Self-Centeredness can be defined as: “the tendency to regard oneself first and others afterward.” There are many things you might fall into like:
You may spend more time with your friends than with your family. But when the stress or workload is overwhelming your friends, how do you cope? Some of my clients report that they’ve learned to tell themselves that they aren’t important enough to bother them anymore, that they’re no longer a good source of their loved ones’ needs.
Your partner is cared for by you, but when it comes time to say something or ask you to help, you say, “I don’t know “I’m busy.” It is a recipe for an unhappy marriage. You can do things like get outside time and help out around the house. If you want to feel great about yourself, you’ll find that it takes your partner some time to catch on to the fact that you’re caring for them.
Don’t Overthink About How You Look Or What People Say About You
Some people find themselves worrying too much about how they look, thinking they’ll get fat or ill if they lose weight or wear make-up. A lot of us are so insecure about our looks that we worry about everything we do, including how we look. It’s the most common reason why women are unhappy. It can also be a sign of emotional abuse when your mate tells you that you look bad and is more worried about it than you are.
One way to avoid these tendencies is to become aware of how your behavior impacts other people, what sounds like a sound practice to get rid of and practice on yourself. Try to change your voice tone and inflection to look like a person that you care about. If you have your hair styled the same way every day and you can’t get past that, you need to take a look at yourself and find out why you’re acting that way.
People like to see themselves in others and sometimes work as they value themselves more than they do. That’s a huge flaw because it makes you go out of your way to impress others. As soon as you start feeling that you are somehow a bad influence on other people, you need to try to adjust your behavior and values to your environment.
Another way to develop self-worth is to value yourself less than you think. When you get a little extra cash in your pocket, instead of feeling guilty and thinking that it isn’t enough money, think about all the things that you did that helped you get it. You will feel less guilty about it when you value yourself more.
More Ways To Manage Your Self-Worth
Another way to manage self-worth is to learn to value yourself less than you think. We use our value judgments about ourselves to gauge what we should value and what we should not. We often use our value judgments to live in fear of embarrassment by telling ourselves that we should value ourselves more than we do. And that creates a vicious cycle where we always have the perception that we are less valuable, and therefore, we never experience more self-worth.
Sometimes, it’s okay not to value yourself as much as you feel like you should. Occasionally, we just want someone to notice that we’re the same as we’ve always been and not the gawky student that doesn’t dress well or the star athlete that didn’t have any friends. Without us knowing it.
It’s okay to have self-worth if you realize that you are worthy of it. There is no shame in wanting to be worthy of yourself, no guilt in self-worth if you value yourself in your way.